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Anna

Acting out of the past

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I was at the PX today for Black Friday. My in-laws have access to the local base, which serves naval engineers and other neighboring military personnel as there is also an air force base nearby. The naval engineering part attracts other military individuals from all over the world, so the PX can become a bit of a United Nations.

 

Today, there were about 4 Japanese men at the PX looking around the jewelry/watch section of the store. They were speaking quite loudly in Japanese, and I could understand what they were saying. One of them wanted to buy a watch so he walked with his friends to the counter area. Two of the men began discussing the physical appearance of the check out women at the store. Since this was Black Friday, everybody was busy trying to serve customers. However these two men classified the women into cute & skinny or fat. When one decided that he wanted to buy a watch, he said that he would only want to be served by the cute girl. He wanted all the fat women to stay away from him. They were insulting and rude.

 

In this case, I thought I'd help these men out. I went to the counter and stood next to the men. I told one of the clerks how they were being referred to by the Japanese men. I did it nicely, of course, but in a way to make the men understand that 1) it's not nice to go to another country and be rude; and 2) these women were working hard to do work and didn't need to be subject to their sexist stupidy.

 

I guess part of me responded in this way because I grew up listening Japanese women say crap about me being only half-Japanese, not understanding that I was fluent in Japanese. Plus, these men were speaking loudly and boldly because they thought no one around them would understand. If you want to have a private conversation, do it so that the person standing on the other side of the long counter can't hear you. In any case, I am sure that there is some acting out of my past hurts that brought this about. I don't regret what I did, though. Have you ever let a pass hurt cause you to act in ways to combat those former demons?

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Well done for those actions, Anna. I got bullied for a few years from age 11-13 or so - and now I hate bullying and speak up whenever I can, to combat it. The other thing that noticeably affects me is gift giving. My parents and particularly my mother used to give such crappy gifts to me, and then to my daughters, that I am very sensitive about people giving inappropriate rubbish, (or "re-gifted" things) and lets be honest, we all know the difference between something that was bought hoping you'd like it and you didn't, and utter cheap and nasty rubbish. I am fine with the former, and will be gracious about it, but the latter I am not amused by.

I tend to make it easy for my loved ones - I keep a wish list on Amazon.

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@Anna asked, "Have you ever let a pass hurt cause you to act in ways to combat those former demons?" I'm sure I have, but can't think of a particular instance, at the moment. However, I am extremely outspoken and confrontative, and don't need a past hurt to get involved in situations like the one you described, or any situation in which people are being ridiculed or demeaned. Here is a situation that arose yesterday: I was next in line at a mega grocery store yesterday, when the couple ahead of me were held up over the price of 2 large boxes, each containing 3 glass canisters. When the cashier scanned them, they rang up for $14.99 each, or $30 for 2. However, a big sign above them on the housewares aisles read 2 for $5. I had seen them myself while shopping, marveled at the price, but had no need to buy them. The couple in line, possibly suspecting there might be a problem, had taken a picture of the sign and display. The cashier was not able to over-ride the scanned price, so called for a supervisor. When she finally arrived, after several minutes of waiting, she reviewed the situation, refused to sell the canisters at the sale price, saying it was an obvious mistake and actually snarled at the couple, telling them that common sense would dictate that the price was wrong. That's when I jumped in and blasted the supervisor with "truth in advertising" issues and the fact that the store should do the right thing even if it meant taking a loss of $25. People behind me in line vocally agreed. When I left the store, the couple was waiting for a store manager, who was called to resolve the issue.
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[quote name='Sandy' timestamp='1511617986']@Anna asked, "Have you ever let a pass hurt cause you to act in ways to combat those former demons?" I'm sure I have, but can't think of a particular instance, at the moment. However, I am extremely outspoken and confrontative, and don't need a past hurt to get involved in situations like the one you described, or any situation in which people are being ridiculed or demeaned. Here is a situation that arose yesterday: I was next in line at a mega grocery store yesterday, when the couple ahead of me were held up over the price of 2 large boxes, each containing 3 glass canisters. When the cashier scanned them, they rang up for $14.99 each, or $30 for 2. However, a big sign above them on the housewares aisles read 2 for $5. I had seen them myself while shopping, marveled at the price, but had no need to buy them. The couple in line, possibly suspecting there might be a problem, had taken a picture of the sign and display. The cashier was not able to over-ride the scanned price, so called for a supervisor. When she finally arrived, after several minutes of waiting, she reviewed the situation, refused to sell the canisters at the sale price, saying it was an obvious mistake and actually snarled at the couple, telling them that common sense would dictate that the price was wrong. That's when I jumped in and blasted the supervisor with "truth in advertising" issues and the fact that the store should do the right thing even if it meant taking a loss of $25. People behind me in line vocally agreed. When I left the store, the couple was waiting for a store manager, who was called to resolve the issue.[/quote] Good for you ..... both @Anna and @Sandy

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[quote name='Sandy' timestamp='1511617986']@Anna asked, "Have you ever let a pass hurt cause you to act in ways to combat those former demons?" I'm sure I have, but can't think of a particular instance, at the moment. However, I am extremely outspoken and confrontative, and don't need a past hurt to get involved in situations like the one you described, or any situation in which people are being ridiculed or demeaned. Here is a situation that arose yesterday: I was next in line at a mega grocery store yesterday, when the couple ahead of me were held up over the price of 2 large boxes, each containing 3 glass canisters. When the cashier scanned them, they rang up for $14.99 each, or $30 for 2. However, a big sign above them on the housewares aisles read 2 for $5. I had seen them myself while shopping, marveled at the price, but had no need to buy them. The couple in line, possibly suspecting there might be a problem, had taken a picture of the sign and display. The cashier was not able to over-ride the scanned price, so called for a supervisor. When she finally arrived, after several minutes of waiting, she reviewed the situation, refused to sell the canisters at the sale price, saying it was an obvious mistake and actually snarled at the couple, telling them that common sense would dictate that the price was wrong. That's when I jumped in and blasted the supervisor with "truth in advertising" issues and the fact that the store should do the right thing even if it meant taking a loss of $25. People behind me in line vocally agreed. When I left the store, the couple was waiting for a store manager, who was called to resolve the issue.[/quote] Good for you ..... both @Anna and @Sandy

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